People need to start thinking things through before they try to pull styles.  Stupid 13 year old girl, and stupid 13 year old girl’s mother – What did you expect to happen when you were brought into Jack Nicholson’s bedroom for a “Vogue photoshoot”?  And you, guy building a bunker for the apocalypse.  Do you really think cat food is going to sustain you for the day that God himself dictates “this is how all the shit’s going to be”?  And Jordan, how are you going to get a book deal about your heart surgery if you livestream the outcome over the internet?  Hello?  Spoiler alert? I know it’s no “Snape kills Dumbledore” situation, but you could really do a better job keeping people in the dark about your aortic valve replacement.  You have our heartfelt (LOL) support, but jeeze—save something for the fourth act.

It’s just frustrating.  You people need to get less excited about your best-case scenario outcomes and keep an open mind for potential failures.  Maybe the old man feeding you quaaludes and asking you to take off your underwear is a sexual predator.  Maybe the hospital Wifi will go out.  Maybe Sony Pictures should have realized that people might go to their craptastic website for their craptastic film.  Ridiculous.

Call us: 206.49.lolbk

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Two car tandem parking is ten points, while two car side-by-side is fifteen. Central air and heating is worth twenty, while wall-units is only ten. Ownership of property is worth one tenth of one point per square foot, but a solid sense of humor is an automatic fifty points. Obviously, total point value is multiplied by the number of successful dates.

There can be maths! It doesn’t matter if the situation is dating strategy or looking for a good lease. There has to be a way to crunch numbers, and validate your efforts. Everything can be formulaic and simple—why waste effort on judgment and thought? It doesn’t have to be painful.

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Potential vs substantial, Brianisinyou and the resource based economy, WHO WILL EMERGE FROM THE STEEL CAGE??

Brian and company struggle with pleasure and power- what’s to become of them amongst meatball fountains and resource based economies? It’s a slippery, slippery slope.  This show is odd.  Lots of live callers, no regular segments, and a cheesecake scented candle.  Bring your beer, bonfires, burgers and bongs. Christina went to some girlish party (see album art), and everybody gets to thinking.  How can we create the male equivalent?  How does one measure vaginal depth? Most importantly, how can you help us in creating a resource based economy?  We are doing our part in the studio by recycling our own urine.  Get off the grid, fool.

Don’t let this be your first exposure to our show. Take a few steps back.  If you have ideas for our manparty, call 206.495.6525 anytime this week.  Leave the idea in a voicemail, and we will share it with everybody.  Best suggestion will actually happen, and we’ll take pictures.

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Sean and Brian are joined by two classic regulars, in a search for the greatest California adventure.  Steve Asbury (last heard sometime before episode 50) is seeking wildfires, industrial rock and dirty game-shows, while Starline is on a quest to find childhood wonderment somewhere down the 405.

A horrible illness has taken Sean, and that’s all because of the lack of “get well soon” cards from last week.  Now he’s worse.  He is dying.  How do you feel about that, internet?

Next week, we’ll be back with the ever-popular Habernacker.  Be sure to call us up with your feedback, requests, and secrets: 206.49.lolbk.

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