Everybody should have a motorcycle gang, and everybody should try as hard as they can to make it as badass as possible. As long as everybody has a motorcycle gang, the motorcycle gangs should be small enough to eliminate any large-scale turf wars or battles between the motorcycle gangs.

This week, we talk about Starline’s first time on set, Sean’s new motorcycle show, and BK’s fear of paintball. We also enjoy a few voicemails.

Contribute to the show! Call 206.49.lolbk and educate us.

The casting couch is a temperamental place. It can treat you like a king, or remind you of your actual worth. It all depends on where you sit. This week, Sean and BK expose the magic of this couch, and the powers that come with it. We also cover feedback from some angry Australian snow bunnies, and pick a fight about Kevin Smith’s recent self-evacuation from the life of a normal human being.

We will be back this week for our 150th show. Send us some voicemails, and be merry.

It’s amazing how much debate can be inspired by one of the least understood and under-appreciated Olympic sports. Sean seems convinced that Luge is a better gig because there’s no brooms. BK thinks curling requires more training and finesse. This debate doesn’t last for more than five minutes, so don’t be concerned about that. Starline is also here, and we talk about her upcoming television audition, and the possible outcome it might have on BK’s image amongst the Black community. We indulge in listener voicemails, and debate the monetary value of killing rats for entertainment. It’s a weird show.

Inspire some content for our next installment. Email show@brianisinyou.net or call 206.49.lolbk (206.495.6525).

We are in a bit of a professional rut. Sean is editing cable ads, BK is doing corporate work, and Star still hasn’t successfully called a hooker in Los Angeles. After spending a bit of time fretting about our situation, we go on to discuss bonus vaginas and incredible/traumatizing birthday parties. This is the perfect episode for anybody hoping to escape sportsball coverage, and discover a new fetish. This is a terrible episode for anybody remotely related to any of us.

If you’d like to help out the show, we’d love an audio stinger for those (always popular) times where we verbally abuse Starline. Bonus points for the incorporation of Harry Potter music.

This week’s show was structured to maximize our visibility through trending topics on twitter/google. Look out for out take on the current situation in Haiti, and our recent encounter with the one and only Conan O’Brien. We force Starline to face one of her greatest fears, and enjoy the most sober drunk-dial ever committed by anyone.

We’re back from winter travels, and couldn’t be happier to be behind the mics. We talk about tragic birthdays, Wisconsin accents, dead otters, Conan O’Brien, reality television and urination. It’s all over the map, but it’s good.

Curious about the acquisition of our filthy couch? Watch the video at http://vimeo.com/467194

Quick and dirty, just the way you like it. This weeks show circulates around another Hollywood newcomer, discreet masturbation aids, and the polar opposite of a discreet masturbation aid (see album art).

As of the recording of this show, there are only five Brianisinyou Christmas cards left. Get yours by donating $10 or more at brianisinyou.net/donate. Be sure to send us your address, so we know where to send your card.

It may be a couple weeks before we’re all around to record new shows, but in the meantime you can follow Sean, Habernacker and bk on twitter.

Classic Brianisinyou host Crazy Nick has found his way to Los Angeles, and brings his unique point of view (and pacing) to this week’s show.  Join us for a Maury Povich style insight into what our most debated co-host has been up to in the two years since we last heard from him.

While you listen to the show, take a minute to consider being added to the Brianisinyou Christmas card list.  Brian and Sean will send you an autographed Christmas card with any donations of $10 or more. Use your parents’ credit card, or Paypal account at brianisinyou.net/donate.  If you’d rather not contribute to the longevity of this show, we also have Amazon wishlists up here, here and here.

If you’re new to the show, please understand that Nick is not a regular fixture here. We highly recommend checking out episodes 142 or 141 before diving into this one.

In this day and age, IM pacing is vastly important.  It adds a sense of sincerity and truthiness to conversations that are otherwise flat, and nearly impossible to understand. Flawed IM pacing can lead to miscommunications, animosity, and personal injury.  It’s important to spread out your instant message punchline indicators in order to indicate a proper amount of punchiness, otherwise you just come off as an asshole.

The show needs money. brianisinyou.net/podcast to find our paypal donation button, and help us cover webhosting for next year, and a fancy mic stand for Sean. Any amount helps, and we will be happy to throw a bonus midweek minishow out there if we see some cash.

After taking some time off for personal growth and reflection, we’re back for a quick comeback show. Join us as we recap Halloween, divulging into two of Christina’s largest childhood failures, and largest costume handicaps.

This show only happened thanks to your listener feedback. Be sure to email us at show@brianisinyou.net, or leave some messages at 206.49.lolbk to inspire us to continue spending time and money on your earholes. Keep an eye on the twitters for upcoming entertainment opportunities while bk and Christina are out of town.

Sean has a mustache that makes him look like he just tied some woman to railroad tracks.  He says that it’s temporary (he only did it for tonight’s Butthole Surfers show), but I’m calling bullshit.  He created that thing on his face, and he loves it.  I’m willing to bet that it’s still there next Sunday.

This week, Sean, Christina and bk teach the kids about the benefits of eschewing responsibilities in favor of a morning pint, inappropriate uses for an accelerometer, a suicide mission to one of the moon’s rings(?), and a sex toy with tongues like Ravana, the demon king of Lanka.  We are quite proud of what we do here.

Leave us some feedback for next week.  You can call our voicemail at 206.49.lolbk, or email show@brianisinyou.net.  We will also be giving away some gym fu apps via our twitter.  Hugs and kisses.

There’s something strange in the air this week. BK and Sean are joined by Haberknockers, and special guest Patrick for a quick show, immediately following a Bludso’s BBQ binge.  We recap Patrick’s adventures in LA (where we live), discuss an upcoming reality-quiz show, and cut down all of the live listeners brave enough to call in.

We will continue to give out promo codes for Gym Fu via the show’s Twitter. Keep an eye out for your chance to win, and to know when we’re going live next.  Why not?

Brianisinyou is teaming up with gymfu.com in a quest to grow massive arms, and earn respect at movie theaters/look good in a vat of pasta/recruit randoms for an upcoming trip to Miami.  It’s entirely possible.

If you want to challenge Brian or Sean to some ‘fu challenges, send a picture of your weak, birdlike muscles (with “brianisinyou” written on them) to show@brianisinyou.net.  We’ll hook up our favorite arms with pushup fu for the iPhone/iPod touch, and our favorite belly with crunch fu.  If you already have the apps, send us challenges by searching for “bk” or “shean”.

We will be back next Sunday with a special guest.   Follow @brianisinyou on twitter, and you’ll be privy to new happenings as they become old happenings. Hit us up with @replies, emails (like last week’s excellent fan-art by Wendy) and voicemails (206.495.6525), and we will love you like brothers and sisters.

People need to start thinking things through before they try to pull styles.  Stupid 13 year old girl, and stupid 13 year old girl’s mother – What did you expect to happen when you were brought into Jack Nicholson’s bedroom for a “Vogue photoshoot”?  And you, guy building a bunker for the apocalypse.  Do you really think cat food is going to sustain you for the day that God himself dictates “this is how all the shit’s going to be”?  And Jordan, how are you going to get a book deal about your heart surgery if you livestream the outcome over the internet?  Hello?  Spoiler alert? I know it’s no “Snape kills Dumbledore” situation, but you could really do a better job keeping people in the dark about your aortic valve replacement.  You have our heartfelt (LOL) support, but jeeze—save something for the fourth act.

It’s just frustrating.  You people need to get less excited about your best-case scenario outcomes and keep an open mind for potential failures.  Maybe the old man feeding you quaaludes and asking you to take off your underwear is a sexual predator.  Maybe the hospital Wifi will go out.  Maybe Sony Pictures should have realized that people might go to their craptastic website for their craptastic film.  Ridiculous.

Call us: 206.49.lolbk

Two car tandem parking is ten points, while two car side-by-side is fifteen. Central air and heating is worth twenty, while wall-units is only ten. Ownership of property is worth one tenth of one point per square foot, but a solid sense of humor is an automatic fifty points. Obviously, total point value is multiplied by the number of successful dates.

There can be maths! It doesn’t matter if the situation is dating strategy or looking for a good lease. There has to be a way to crunch numbers, and validate your efforts. Everything can be formulaic and simple—why waste effort on judgment and thought? It doesn’t have to be painful.

Potential vs substantial, Brianisinyou and the resource based economy, WHO WILL EMERGE FROM THE STEEL CAGE??

Brian and company struggle with pleasure and power- what’s to become of them amongst meatball fountains and resource based economies? It’s a slippery, slippery slope.  This show is odd.  Lots of live callers, no regular segments, and a cheesecake scented candle.  Bring your beer, bonfires, burgers and bongs. Christina went to some girlish party (see album art), and everybody gets to thinking.  How can we create the male equivalent?  How does one measure vaginal depth? Most importantly, how can you help us in creating a resource based economy?  We are doing our part in the studio by recycling our own urine.  Get off the grid, fool.

Don’t let this be your first exposure to our show. Take a few steps back.  If you have ideas for our manparty, call 206.495.6525 anytime this week.  Leave the idea in a voicemail, and we will share it with everybody.  Best suggestion will actually happen, and we’ll take pictures.

Sean and Brian are joined by two classic regulars, in a search for the greatest California adventure.  Steve Asbury (last heard sometime before episode 50) is seeking wildfires, industrial rock and dirty game-shows, while Starline is on a quest to find childhood wonderment somewhere down the 405.

A horrible illness has taken Sean, and that’s all because of the lack of “get well soon” cards from last week.  Now he’s worse.  He is dying.  How do you feel about that, internet?

Next week, we’ll be back with the ever-popular Habernacker.  Be sure to call us up with your feedback, requests, and secrets: 206.49.lolbk.

We need the world to know where they can find Phil Conti if they want to hire him to work for their cruise ship, hotel or private party.  A website dedicated to Phil Conti can be found on the internet at philconti.com.

Please spread the word, and help your hosts get the money they deserve.  Phil Conti.

It actually happened.  After last week’s WTFCraigslist on the cougar convention, Brian got on an airplane with some friends and checked it out.  Listen to this show for a full report, including a recorded interview with Übercougar Rita (pictured on the Left).

Sean was seriously injured during the recording of this show.  We ask that you send your sympathy to show@brianisinyou.net, or call in a voicemail to 206.49.lolbk.  We will be back next week with a super-huge show with some special guests.  Enjoy.

This is yet another show that has potentially horrible repercussions for your beloved hosts, and you should appreciate that.

Sean, BK and Christina are back in the studio to discuss Sean’s new arch-rival, Christina’s incredibly advanced mental age, and BK’s homicidal mannerisms.  We wrap it all up with an intriguing WTFCraigslist, and live callers.

Leave us some voicemails at 205.49.lolbk (206.495.6525), or do the twitter thing (@brianisinyou).  We’ll be back soon.

I’m totally going to feel like a dick if that comes true.

It’s a packed studio with BK, Sean, Jake, and the return of Christina Habernackerasdf.  We recap our travels over the past couple weeks, and Jake educates Christina on the dangers that she faces on an upcoming adventure.

Feed us back: 206.49.lolbk, anonymous box, or @brianisinyou

We can’t record any new shows until August, but we have some minishows to hold everybody over until then. If you’re a new listener, we recommend you check out episodes 128 and older.

We had no idea if we could pull this show off, but it came together quite nicely.  We bring back a classic segment, break some news (which will be a week old once this show gets released), and present you with Supersecretdownlowhollywood info that you won’t find anywhere else.   Enjoy.

We can’t record any new shows until August, but we have some minishows to hold everybody over until then. If you’re a new listener, we recommend you check out episodes 128 and older.

It’s a beautiful day in LA, and Jenipher is back in the studio for a bonus half hour with Sean and BK.

Schedules-schmedules.  Jake and BK found some free time, and we have a friend in town.  Let’s record a thing for Friday!

This week, we introduce you to Jenipher.  She doesn’t curse, drink or climb mountains, but we try to pressure her into it anyway.  We spend some time with her, take some calls, play some sounds, and find better employment opportunities for Mr. Jake.

Sean might be back for a Sunday show, or he might not be.  Regardless, we’re pretty sure we’ll be recording one.  Keep an eye on the twitter, and send some sweet content to show@brianisinyou.net.

What the hell happened last week?  No new shows came out, and Brian spent some time with the New York Police Department, while Jake and Sean went to raves and watched people get painted at muscle beach.

This show is extra long, packed with all the recap stuff that would be completely invalid during a midweek show.   You won’t miss it, because you missed us.  There’s no way you can miss it.  It’s missless.

We will be back sometime this week.  Listen to this show.  It’s good.

Sven is here,  Jake is ruining Father’s Day by letting his child’s thumb dangle all over the place, and BK is ruining his Father’s Fathers’s Day by debating the merits of doing some “solo shows”.   The Supersecretdownlowhollywoodradar takes a quick pass for the week, while we fill its place with something even more wtf-worthy, followed by international listener feedback.

BK is going out of town on a weeklong shoot, so there will be no midweek show, and no live shows until next week.  Until then, catch up on some of the back-episodes you missed in the past three years, and leave us a voicemail at 206-49-lolbk.

Sean,

So, you’re getting back soon?  I had to do a show with just Jake, and it was weird.  He totally wanted to talk smack about you, and open your mail, and root through your laundry and shit, but I was like “no, man, you can’t do that!”  but he was like “yeah, but I’m Jake Lloyd, and that’s how I do!” so he did.  Like, if your clothes smell weird or something, it’s because of him and not me.  Don’t hit me, please.

I don’t have a job anymore, so I was weeping in the shower and thinking that it would be nice to have a cat.  I know you said that it would be gay, but I disagree. @Roger Fingas said that the gayness would depend on the cat’s ability to “go out and kill things”, and @Richard Schmidt said that it would be totally straight if we don’t feed it.  I like that plan, because we get to save food, money and heterosexuality.

The show’s over an hour long, so it should get you halfway through the 20 mile drive from LAX.  When you listen you can learn how to pick up women, why our fan named Sam likes the show, and why Jake and I think Jim Carrey is totally legit.  The answer to one of these things is “grabbing titties”.

Anyway, come back soon.  There’s an idea for a Gatorade spec spot that I want to shoot.  Also, Jake keeps spraying some kind of fluid all over the furniture, and I do not know how to make him stop.

-bk

Actual email transcript:

Jake: Really?…. really……. ?  ((palmface))
BK: It’s “facepalm”.
Jake: good god you’re such an internet snob.
google “palmface” douchey mcdoucherston. works both ways, just like you.
BK: Whut.

Jake doesn’t get the internet.  Not like we do.  I had to get his facebook name url for him, while he was at some stupid Hollywood party. Pffft.

We will be live on Wednesday.  Call us: 206.49.lolbk

This show is very special.  Not only is it recorded on a Wednesday, but it’s being enjoyed in at least two completely separate decades.  Amazing.

Jake, Sean and BK go behind the scenes with Conan O’Brien, and give you some up to the minute updates on all that is super-secret (and down-low) in Hollywood.

See you Sunday.

Sometimes, it only takes a few seconds to completely and utterly change your life. Your everyday routine is shattered.  Black is white, up is down and short is long.  Really long. And girthy. Stupidly girthy.

When this happens, you can’t keep marching on as though  nothing has changed.  You can’t pretend that everything is normal, that there’s another page to turn and that the sun will rise again.  No.  Your universe has been broken by something unexpected and ridiculous, and you need to turn with the punch and adjust your course.  Suddenly, everything must change.

Jake is back in the studio, and we’re planning to come back again for a second show this week.  Listen up for a few listener challenges during this extra long episode, and take two seconds to pause your iPod and ring us up at 206.49.lolbk.  We would also be happy to take your money, which you can donate by clicking on any of the paypal buttons scattered about our site.